Will you ever be good enough? (when comparisonitis strikes)

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:: 00:00

Do you ever find yourself comparing yourself to other business owners, perhaps unfavorably or comparing yourself to people who have been in business longer than you, or have bigger teams than you, more resources or people who maybe don't have the same responsibilities as you caring responsibilities. For example, as we all know, it's not generally very helpful to compare ourselves to others, but we're only hearing,

:: 00:29

which is why we all do it. And this is why I wanted to, to reshare with you. One of the most popular episodes of the courageous concept podcast. Will you ever be good at us when comparisonitis strikes enjoy hi, it's Janet Murray here. And if you ever suffer from comparisonitis, this short episode is for you. When I was growing up,

:: 00:55

I desperately wanted to be a musician. I spent hours listening to my dad's records, Elvis, the Beatles, buddy, Holly, Eddie Cochran, whatever I could find along with my mom's albums, Carole king, Simon, and Garfunkel. Those two come to mind because my dad always bought her an album of two for Christmas. And my dad had this old reel to reel tape player.

:: 01:19

And one of my earliest memories is my dad standing me on a chair and recording me, singing our father a reference you may only get if you're also from an Irish Catholic background like mine or playing Lucy in the sky with diamonds on my recorder, while he strums along on the guitar. I also used to sneak into my brother's room when he was out and listen to his albums.

:: 01:41

Are we in the one to staff the stone roses and what I was naturally drawn to soul jazz, hip hop probably influenced by my dad's record collection. The music in the house gave me a very well-rounded education, but although I came from a very musical family, where many of us play and sing by ear music lessons were a big luxury. And my parents often told me that,

:: 02:07

although they would love to get me formal music lessons, they just couldn't afford it. But I kept begging my parents for piano lessons. And finally, at the age of 12, I got them along with an electronic keyboard. I practiced obsessively and I took my first grade, barely six months after starting to play and pass with distinction. My teacher that loved me.

:: 02:31

And apparently she told all her other students, they should be more like me, but by the time I was 16, I was struggling with piano. I taken grade after grade, but I felt like I couldn't actually play anything without the music, at least. And it was getting harder. I'd started off with this natural ear for music, but having to read the notes,

:: 02:52

it just felt like I was struggling. And I also felt like I was playing catch up all the time. So not only was I playing people, who'd been having formal music education since they were five or six years old, sometimes younger. They were also brilliant at music theory and I was terrible at theory. And they were posh for the most part.

:: 03:13

They fit it into the classical music scene. Whereas I didn't, I remember playing in these classical concerts in little churches where they'd serve cheese and wine and everyone's parents would be standing around saying it wasn't it marvelous. My mum and dad would be in the graveyard having a cigarette and asking when the concert was going to finish still, even though I wasn't note perfect.

:: 03:39

I always got picked to do the solos because everyone said I was musical. I guess I must've had that. Something that sparkle that that years of music education doesn't buy you. So I did get a place to read music at university, but I changed my mind after one of the posh kids came up to me after a concert, we both been playing in and told me that she was better than me.

:: 04:03

She was, and that she should have done the solo instead. And in that moment, that split second, I decided that I didn't want to spend the next few years with people like that who were going to really damage my self esteem. So I went off and studied English instead because I knew I wouldn't feel out of my depth. I often wonder if that was the right decision,

:: 04:27

but music has still remains a big part of my life. And I've had periods where I've played a lot and others where I haven't played much at all, but I recently bought a new piano and I've played it pretty much every single day since I bought it back in the summer. It's secularity. Since I decided to start even trying to read the notes and develop my ear,

:: 04:48

that natural ear that I had as a child. And it's the most creative I felt for years and I'm really enjoying it. But at the same time, when I sat down at the piano to play, I'm often crippled with this feeling of not being good enough. I mean, I'm definitely improving, but I frequently find myself trying to learn something and then thinking,

:: 05:08

oh, what's the point. I'll never be as good as the artists that I'm listening to. If you've listened this far, you're probably thinking, no, that's not the point. Every time you show up at the piano, you're getting better. And who knows what the future holds if you keep showing up. But anyway, does it really matter? Because if you're showing up at the piano and you're enjoying it and you're being creative well,

:: 05:35

isn't that enough. And if you're thinking that you are absolutely right, but of course, it's so easy to see how other people should be approaching the creative process, but not apply those rules to yourself. Since I launched my courageous content brand, I've developed this idea of being a creator, a courageous content creator. And it really is a guiding light for me,

:: 05:58

but also the clients that I work with because it's really everything that I stand for. In fact, I actually have a mug with a curator on it, and this is what it says. A creator is a content creator who has the courage to show up consistently and take imperfect action without having it all figured out something I could certainly do with reminding myself a bit more often when it comes to my piano playing.

:: 06:23

And in that spirit, I recently started a Tik TOK account where I share what I'm working on with my piano. I don't have tons of time to create content for it, but it gives me a bit of accountability and the way to track my progress. When I look back on it in a few months time, or maybe even a few years time,

:: 06:43

I will be able to say that I have improved. I have, and I wanted to share this with you. So that next time you find yourself struck down with about have comparisonitis with your content or in fact, anything to do with your business. I hope you will remember this and it will inspire you to keep going because showing up consistently and taking imperfect action.

:: 07:07

Well, it's the only way that any of us can ever get better at anything. So with that, I'll play you out with a bit of Christmas music from my TikTok account piano over 40. My teacher challenged me to open up my left hand.