Owning your mistakes (and letting people own theirs)

IMPORTANT: THIS TRANSCRIPT IS AUTOMATICALLY GENERATED. WE GIVE IT A QUICK CHECK THROUGH BUT WE DON’T CORRECT EVERYTHING AS IT’S INTENDED TO HELP YOU FIND PARTS YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO AGAIN - NOT AS AN EXACT TRANSCRIPT. SO THERE MIGHT BE A FEW QUIRKY WORDS/PHRASES HERE!

:: 00:01

I recently published a podcast episode that ruffled a few feathers. The episode was about why I don't do affiliate launches. Some critics pointed to a podcast episode. I made a few years back entitled how to make money from affiliate marketing. Now I've never said I don't agree with affiliate marketing. My podcast episode is about affiliate launches, which is a very specific aspect of affiliate marketing.

:: 00:27

And my views haven't actually changed at all. I stayed really clearly in that episode from a few years ago, but I don't get involved in affiliate launches, but even if I had changed my mind, surely that's okay, isn't it. I'm Janet Murray. I'm a content and online business strategist. And in this episode of the courageous content podcast, I talk about why I believe recognizing our mistakes and owning them is not only okay,

:: 00:54

it's actually the right thing to do. So I have recorded a number of episodes recently about some unhealthy practices in the online business space, including, and I will link to these in the show notes. Is it time to shake up the online coaching industry? Do you care whether I'm a six or seven figure business owner and why I don't do affiliate launches?

:: 01:24

Now this hasn't actually come out of the blue. If you've been following me on social media for awhile, you may remember a video I made of me working from the beach in the town where I live in north Kent in the UK on a particularly industrial stretch of the river Thames. And if you're not from the UK, the river Thames flows through Southern England and it's most commonly associated with London.

:: 01:47

So the town where I live in north Ken is also on the Thames, but the skyline is not quite so spectacular. In my video. I'm sitting on a beach towel on a pebbly beach, wearing my winter coat and hat with industrial chimneys in the backdrop from the local cement works. So while it isn't new for me to be talking about any of these kinds of issues,

:: 02:10

what has changed is my understanding of them. So for example, in that episode that my critics referred to, I talked about how you can get paid for promoting big affiliate programs, but I also clearly state that I wouldn't do it myself. And when I listened back is always embarrassing to listen back to such things. But what's clear to me is that I didn't really have a full understanding of how those kinds of launches worked.

:: 02:42

And that's exactly what I say on my podcast. Why I don't do affiliate launches. I say, I didn't like them. I knew I didn't want to do them, but I couldn't really put my finger on why, because I honestly think I was so busy building my own online business working 12, 14 hour days every single week. I didn't really have the time to step back and take a look at what was going on in the industry.

:: 03:04

I'm not saying that's right. I'm just saying that's how it is. But a few years down the line, my understanding has developed and crucially I've done my research. And to that end, I'd love to share some resources with you that I found really helpful in developing my understanding of some of the practices in the online space. Top of the list has to be the duke podcast with Michelle and Maggie Patterson.

:: 03:32

I will link to all of these in the show notes, by the way, there's two series. And it's an absolutely excellent walkthrough of all the different issues in the industry. I've listened to most of those episodes more than once. And I feel like I need to go back and listen to some of them. Again, there's so much in there. And what I liked so much about their work is that it's rooted in real research,

:: 03:55

including academic studies and journals books written by people who have actually researched their subject in a great deal of depth. Another show I found helpful is the online business show with Tyler McCall. There's a few interesting episodes there on some of the practice in the online business space. One of my clients and house there wrote an excellent blog, which I'll link to in the show notes about some of the practices that she's struggled with in the industry.

:: 04:25

There's also coffee Ziller who has a YouTube channel looking into online scams. And there's an episode that are linked to an interview with Jordan harbinger, which I think is a really good digest of some of the scams going on in the online business space. And in particular, the fake guru scams and other person who's been speaking out about some of these issues and actively trying to make changes as thousand K.

:: 04:53

And one of the reasons I wanted to mention her on this podcast episode is because she is doing exactly what this podcast episode is all about, owning her mistakes. One of the really poignant things I've heard Maggie Patterson say about this is that we shouldn't go around firing off arrows or other people until we've cleaned things up in our own business. And it was having Maggie say that on a podcast episode,

:: 05:20

I think it was an interview with Tyler McCall that maybe one day, if I've been doing the same, have I been firing off arrows without changing things in my own business first, I think that has made some changes. And I'll talk about those in just a sec, but I think these are the kinds of questions that we should be asking ourselves. Now I'd be the first to say that I'm still learning about these issues and understanding some of the mistakes that I've made and unraveling my part in contributing to some of the problems in the online industry,

:: 05:53

which isn't regulated, which means any problems that we have are magnified multiple times, because some things that I've already recognized are mistakes on my parts are relying too much on income marketing claims, both my own and my clients getting a bit sucked into the whole six and seven figure business owners stuff 10 K months, partly I think, or mostly I think because I felt that was the only thing people wanted to listen to.

:: 06:23

I knew that I had good solid education to offer, but at times it's felt like the only way to get people to sit up and take notice, which is an explanation rather than an excuse, by the way, I've probably also not talked enough about my own privilege and how that's helped me to achieve some of the results I've had. Say, for example,

:: 06:44

in my recent episode on whether you should invest in my 90 day launch, when I talked about being a professional writer and a qualified teacher and how those skills have given me an advantage in building my online business and selling digital products, there's loads more I could talk about in that area, but it's certainly something unconscious that I need to talk about more because we're not all starting from the same place and it's not always a meritocracy.

:: 07:13

And although I've never really got into the whole mindset stuff, I know have been guilty in the past of thinking people aren't taking action because they can't be bothered or are a bit lazy. And I've probably been a bit judgy about it, mostly internally, but inside I found myself thinking what's wrong with people? Why don't they just get on with it? Why are they sitting around saying I've got imposter syndrome instead of doing stuff.

:: 07:38

And this might be partly down to my neurodiversity, but I found it difficult sometimes to put myself in other people's shoes and I've been thinking, but I'm just getting on and doing hair. I'm putting in the work, I'm rolling up my sleeves and I've got a daughter and a husband and family responsibilities and other things going on and ill health and all that kind of stuff.

:: 07:59

Why am I doing it? But other people are saying they can't and not proud of myself for thinking those kinds of things. But recognition, I think is the first step to changing. I also drew quite heavily in one of my programs on the work of Robert Chao Deni and his book influence. And I wouldn't want to say at this stage, I think that was completely wrong because I'm still learning about it myself,

:: 08:24

but I'm starting to think that I may have been teaching some practices, which are problematic. And like I say, I'm still getting into this and I don't feel that my opinions are yet fully formed enough for me to tell you definitively what I think, but for what it's worth, I'm owning it. And I'm looking into it. I'm also still learning and getting things wrong.

:: 08:48

Say, for example, when I shared my episode on why I don't do affiliate marketing, someone commented on my Facebook page that my caption was sensationalist and I reflected on her comments and I felt she was right. And I changed it. And I feel quite sure that as I start to talk more about these things, that I will make mistakes and it isn't easy doing your learning in public,

:: 09:12

which is what I feel like I'm doing. I think it will take time for me to fully understand some of the issues and implement change. And also this is really important for me. I want to make sure that I am making changes from an honest and true place. Not because the people I'm learning from doing it. And I feel it's what I should do,

:: 09:33

because I think that just as we can get sucked into the online business world and unethical practices almost without thinking about it, because everybody else is doing it equally, I don't think it's healthy for us just to go off, start listening to another set of messages and implementing all of that in our business, because we now identify with a different group of thought leaders.

:: 09:55

I think that could be just as dangerous. I'm very conscious of the fact that I need to take my time to think things through and to think, what did I really think about this and not start implementing things in my business or using certain types of language or talking about particular issues because other people are. And I feel like that's the right thing to do.

:: 10:17

It's got to come from an honest and true place. And also I'm aware that these issues are very complex. So for example, I had an experience where I was inviting an influencer in the online space to be a guest on my podcast. And I was sent this form and I'm not joking. It was so difficult to fill out, especially for someone with ADHD and I kept starting it.

:: 10:40

And then I kept getting frustrated and leaving it. I did that about three or four times before I reached out to them and said, look, this form feels really prohibitive. And it was asking me a lot of questions about things like how many people of color I'd had on my podcast or booked to speak at my events. And I think my response,

:: 11:03

my frustration was interpreted as me thinking they were inappropriate questions to ask, but actually it was just me being really frustrated with trying to fill out this form and it taking ages that there was definitely no political thought in there at all. And the response I got, I felt kind of implied that I somehow felt that it was wrong to be asking me about stuff like that.

:: 11:27

I ended up going back and saying, look, the forum's problematic for me because I've got ADHD and it's so long. And although I can see that you're trying to be really inclusive here. Actually, you're excluding another group of people with ADHD, other types of neurodiversity dyslexia who are just not going to be able to fill this form out. And actually it turned into quite a healthy conversation.

:: 11:50

And I'm sharing that example with you not to say that either person is white or either way of doing things as white, but just to really illustrate how complex all of this is and how I think it's important that we don't rush into implementing things without really thinking it through. And again, not implying that this was the case in this situation. I don't think it was,

:: 12:10

but just that it is such a complex issue that we need to look at it from all sides. And just when we think we've looked at it from all sides, we discovered that we haven't, but I have implemented some changes. So first off, and I think this is an important one. I've been talking more openly about my client results and not just using income planes or numbers of followers.

:: 12:32

It's really easy to fall into that, but I'm trying not to. I've also reintroduced installments for my programs without added costs. And I'm talking more about the subsidized places that I offer for my programs in the past. I think I felt that I was justified in charging a little extra for people who wanted to pay in installments. And actually one of the podcasts episodes are linked to with Tarzan.

:: 12:56

Kay. She talks about this topic in quite some detail. It's quite interesting. And she's saying that when you're first starting in your business, that may actually be necessary because it does cost more for people to pay in installments. You have to pay more for more it's more admin time. People are more likely to default. So it does cost you more as a business owner to have someone paying in installments,

:: 13:19

both Tarzan and myself, I would say at the stage where we can absorb those costs. So when you're at the stage, when you can, why not do it? And finally, I'm starting conversations with my communities on my Facebook page and on Instagram about some of these topics. And I'm asking a lot of questions. I will link to my Facebook page in the show notes,

:: 13:40

but if you're interested in getting involved in those conversations, that's where they're happening. They're also happening on Instagram too, but there's more of that happening on my Facebook page. I'm asking questions rather than telling people what to think or certainly that's what I'm aiming today. And if what I've been sharing recently, it interests you. I would love to get involved in the conversation.